Leaving a piece of your heart in your book…
Nineteen years ago, I lost the last member of my childhood family when my brother Steve died. He was the last person whom I thought shared the lifelong family conspiracy—the plan to shelter and protect my mother. I drowned in grief and aloneness for a while before I decided to write. I found it immediately cathartic to write about my mother— her childhood of extreme poverty, her alcoholic, abusive father, the loss of her older siblings, and her health problems, among other things. I spent years on a chronological biography of her entitled The One Left Behind. I paid for writing workshops and critique groups at a local university where I manipulated pieces of it. I shared almost completed copies with cousins. Somehow, it didn’t feel quite right.
The manuscript sat idyll for a while. Life got in the way with work, two daughters, and a husband. Then I became involved in a group of women who all wrote about how their mothers’ lives affected them. They were also trying to come to an understanding of their mothers. It was wonderful. I studied my mother’s life in more depth. An anthology called Compassionate Journey: Honoring Our Mothers’ Stories came out eventually. I am very proud of my part in it, but I still needed to write more about my mother, particularly for relatives who always had questions.
My book Gracie & Albert used many parts of my other writings, but in a new way. I wanted to share the story of the courage, love, and determination my mother and father displayed in their challenging lives. I needed to help people realize what they incredibly overcame. A piece of my heart will be in every paperback or ebook version of Gracie & Albert. I hope people understand.